Nice to meet you.

Hey. My name is David. Or Mr. Pants, if you prefer.

I create rockin' illustration for your unique situation.

This man can help you.
get great design
Get a free chapter. Sign up for insights below:
Don't let them kick sand in your small business face. Read!

What if you could ask a designer anything?

Can I use Microsoft Word to create my ebook? How?

How do you get those bookmarky things to work in your PDFs?

Should I buy Photoshop to make my blog header?

What do I need to draw my napkin doodles in the computer?

Why are designers so snarky about PowerPoint? I use PowerPoint, does that mean there’s something wrong with me?

You know what’s the most fun part of my job? Sure, there’s the whole illustrating narwhals spearing unicorns thing. I love that part. One of my favorites.

My other favorite is answering questions. I get a lot of them in my email and on Twitter. Sometimes I can get super distracted because I’m an answer geek. I love researching solutions. Thankfully I know a wee bit about design so I can answer some things without looking them up.

I love to do it. And I discovered something while tackling the email pile lately. Actually, a few things.

  • A lot of people like designing some stuff themselves. Even if they can afford to hire someone.
  • I know a lot more about PDFs than I thought I did.
  • When someone is doing it themselves, they don’t want to hear, “You should really hire someone for that.”
  • A lot of people just need one tiny piece to complete their learning curve.
  • I can write really long emails about PDFs.

Sometimes I’ll turn someone’s question into a blog post, but that doesn’t always work. It would just be me dragging a short answer out to 500 words. Still, I know that others would benefit from the answer, even a short one. So I decided it’s time to get all phone call-ey and host a series of free group calls.

I’ve joined a lot of group calls since I’ve been in business. I noticed that the more interesting ones aren’t “tele-seminars” or lecture calls, but some form of Q & A/discussions. So that’s what I’ll be hosting. I’ve called them… are you ready for the obvious… Ask a Designer! calls.

The calls are specifically for small business people who need help with one aspect of their design. Maybe it’s a web site banner, or formatting an ebook in Apple’s Pages with hyperlinks. Drawing a fish in Photoshop. Whatever – the questions aren’t mine, they’re yours. And they’ll be answered in plain language for non-designer people. No techno-jabber allowed without an explanation everyone can understand.

I’ll also be asking my designer friends to weigh in on a call now and then. I think we’ll get more well-rounded answers that way. If this sounds helpful or fun for you (like you’re hoping I’ll perform one of my 1,000 voices), I hope you’ll check it out. To get dates, times, and numbers, you need to make sure you’re signed up on my regular email list.

You can read more and sign up on the Ask a Designer! call page. If you just want to sign up now, you can do that below.

Join me, and together we will rule the galaxy.

*I will never share your information. That’s a promise.

botpreneur #6

Share this with people. Please. Print it, email it, post it on your blog, put it on Twitter, use it in your free newsletter. Right or Ctrl-click to download the image here.

Read the full article »

The Pool and the Leap

I can't count how many times I've stood at the edge of an unheated pool, hesitating. Arms crossed, I'll watch the mirrored surface of the water, imagining myself leaping out, breaking the stillness, then diving down to touch the drain at the deep end. As inviting as the water looks, I know it's going to be ...

Read the full article »

The ugly face of obstacles in your business

Red. No, not red. Really red. Purple red. Puffy. Bumpy. Scaly. Obvious. It's November 2009 and I'm in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm standing in front of my sister-in-law's bathroom mirror, trying to convince myself that I look normal. I had to psych myself up about this because in a couple of hours I would be leading my first in-person ...

Read the full article »

botpreneur #5

Share this with people. Please. Print it, email it, post it on your blog, put it on Twitter, use it in your free newsletter. Right or Ctrl-click to download the image ...

Read the full article »

Acing Tough Talks

"Dude, you have the biggest zit on your forehead." "What?" "Right. THERE. Huge. That is one seriously monstrous blackhead, man. So anyway, I'm pulling into the gas station and this girl in a convertible, she..." I've had friends throughout ...

Read the full article »

botpreneur #5

This week's comic is a more codified version of botpreneur #4, of which over 500 people have viewed through this site (plus the feeds I track) since July 1st. In fact, I got the biggest email response ...

Read the full article »

You hate what your designer created. Now what?

So you hire a designer. You pay a deposit and tell her what you want. Then you wait. You busy yourself with other work, but secretly you're checking your email every ten minutes for a week, hoping to see something come through. Anticipay-yay-tion, it's making me wait. Finally! An email from your designer with an attachment. ...

Read the full article »

botpreneur #4

Share this with people. Please. Print it, email it, post it on your blog, put it on Twitter, use it in your free newsletter. Right or Ctrl-click to download the image here.

Read the full article »

Avoid the biggest design pitfall: cramming

I love open spaces. I'm a big fan. I have all their albums: Beach Sky Desert Empty Parking Lot Whenever I find myself mashed up against other people in a confined space, I go a little berserk. The funny thing is, I don't mind concerts, airports, parties, or malls – as long as I can clearly map my escape route. ...

Read the full article »

"Do you need a fun illustration? Yes, yes you do. And you need to hire Sparky Firepants to do it because he's just that good." – Kelly Parkinson, Copylicious
Projects in the hopper:

Self-Activator
Illustrations

Tony Pasquale Productions
Animated demo

Sylvia Taylor
Logo Illustration

Bev Martin Inner Active
Logo & Smoothie site

TargusInfo
Animated intro

Copylicious
Illustrations

Sparky DIY Kits
Small biz help kits

Hey, let’s work together!
We can start in September 2010
Tell me about your upcoming project!

Meet me here:

July 29 TBD

Ask a Designer! Teleclass
Portland, OR
Organizing and Hosting
(postponed due to lack of voice)

August 5-8

Lift-Off Retreat
Portland, OR
Attending

Sparky Recommends:
Premium Planners

What if you could ask a designer anything?

Can I use Microsoft Word to create my ebook? How?

How do you get those bookmarky things to work in your PDFs?

Should I buy Photoshop to make my blog header?

What do I need to draw my napkin doodles in the computer?

Why are designers so snarky about PowerPoint? I use PowerPoint, does that mean there’s something wrong with me?

You know what’s the most fun part of my job? Sure, there’s the whole illustrating narwhals spearing unicorns thing. I love that part. One of my favorites.

My other favorite is answering questions. I get a lot of them in my email and on Twitter. Sometimes I can get super distracted because I’m an answer geek. I love researching solutions. Thankfully I know a wee bit about design so I can answer some things without looking them up.

I love to do it. And I discovered something while tackling the email pile lately. Actually, a few things.

  • A lot of people like designing some stuff themselves. Even if they can afford to hire someone.
  • I know a lot more about PDFs than I thought I did.
  • When someone is doing it themselves, they don’t want to hear, “You should really hire someone for that.”
  • A lot of people just need one tiny piece to complete their learning curve.
  • I can write really long emails about PDFs.

Sometimes I’ll turn someone’s question into a blog post, but that doesn’t always work. It would just be me dragging a short answer out to 500 words. Still, I know that others would benefit from the answer, even a short one. So I decided it’s time to get all phone call-ey and host a series of free group calls.

I’ve joined a lot of group calls since I’ve been in business. I noticed that the more interesting ones aren’t “tele-seminars” or lecture calls, but some form of Q & A/discussions. So that’s what I’ll be hosting. I’ve called them… are you ready for the obvious… Ask a Designer! calls.

The calls are specifically for small business people who need help with one aspect of their design. Maybe it’s a web site banner, or formatting an ebook in Apple’s Pages with hyperlinks. Drawing a fish in Photoshop. Whatever – the questions aren’t mine, they’re yours. And they’ll be answered in plain language for non-designer people. No techno-jabber allowed without an explanation everyone can understand.

I’ll also be asking my designer friends to weigh in on a call now and then. I think we’ll get more well-rounded answers that way. If this sounds helpful or fun for you (like you’re hoping I’ll perform one of my 1,000 voices), I hope you’ll check it out. To get dates, times, and numbers, you need to make sure you’re signed up on my regular email list.

You can read more and sign up on the Ask a Designer! call page. If you just want to sign up now, you can do that below.

Join me, and together we will rule the galaxy.

*I will never share your information. That’s a promise.

botpreneur #6

botpreneur #6

Share this with people. Please. Print it, email it, post it on your blog, put it on Twitter, use it in your free newsletter. Right or Ctrl-click to download the image here.

Creative Commons License
botpreneur by Sparky Firepants is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://sparkyfirepants.com/talk-to-me.

The Pool and the Leap

I can’t count how many times I’ve stood at the edge of an unheated pool, hesitating. Arms crossed, I’ll watch the mirrored surface of the water, imagining myself leaping out, breaking the stillness, then diving down to touch the drain at the deep end.

As inviting as the water looks, I know it’s going to be chilly. If I leap, I’ll be really uncomfortable. I also know that if I walk myself in one step at a time, I’ll have plenty of time to decide that I can’t handle uncomfortable.

So I stand. I gaze. I consider. I psyche myself up.

I’ve done this often enough that I know I’ll get used to the water once I’m submerged long enough. In fact, I know that the exact opposite will happen when it’s time to get out. I won’t want to leave the warm bouyancy of my new happy place for the chilly breeze between me and my warm towel, a thousand miles away.

Knowing how this will play out and committing to the leap are at odds with each other.

So I stand. I gaze.

I think about the rewards the pool is offering. For an hour or so, I’ll be able to spin, tumble, sink, float, and move my body with more ease and grace than I can on land. I’ll submerge myself so the only sounds I hear are muffled splashes and the occasional ladder clang. I’ll feel strong and fit. Younger. Agile.

I think about how I’ll feel if I don’t swim. If I sit on a lounge chair and watch I won’t be cold, even momentarily. I’ll stay in the environment I’m used to, one that feels comfortable and easy. No stinging goosebumps. No shiver that stings my lungs.

I think about how I’ll feel when it’s time to leave. If I sit here, I’ll be no different. Nothing will have changed and I’ll be as secure and warm as I was when I arrived. If I swim, I’ll be changed. My body will be warm, cold, warm, cold, warm. I’ll be a different person than the one who arrived. There’s a feeling of power in challenging the comfortable. I’ll carry that feeling for the rest of the day.

Okay, stop. There’s no more analyzing here. There’s only a decision to be made. Leap or not?

Of course I leap. And I was right. The chill is shocking. It hurts. What the hell did I do that for? Then I recover. I swim. I adapt to my new place. I exploit it. I’m powerful.

When I get out it happens all over again. Then I’m toweled warm and dry, back to comfortable.

Afterwards I realize that I’ll be facing more chilly pools throughout the day. A new client I need to call. Being interviewed. Coming up with the right illustration out of nothing. Releasing a product. Investing my hard-earned cash in a business-building program or a web site overhaul.

In those moments when we plunge ourselves into the uncomfortable, we’re weakened. It’s only later that we discover how much stronger we’ve become by leaping.

The trick is to remember that while we stand on the edge of the pool.