Don't let the haters stop you.

Mobile Pants: January 14

Ahem. For my first trick, I’d like to demonstrate [drum roll]… flaking out!

[scattered applause]

When I posted about Mobile Pants, I neglected to mention that I would be in Seattle. Oops? I’m back home today but staying in the studio. Seattle was my Mobile Pants location this week.

I’ll post my planned whereabouts on Wednesday, I promise. Likely I’ll be in NoPo at Lucky Lab. Thursday, January 21st.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way

That’s one of my favorite quotes, by Thomas Paine. I admit, it sounds kind of like something you’d hear on an “Outward Bound” retreat or something your boss might say to “motivate.” Framed in those circumstances, it makes me want to vomit. However, in my own little world it’s sometimes helpful for sorting things out.

What made me think of it today was a hater comment on a forum I belong to. Haters just get in the way.

See, I meet a lot of people every week. Many of them are small business people (which includes freelance designers, illustrators, and animators). They’re all trying to get work, keep work, and figure out how to grow their businesses.

Some of them are confident but looking for new ways to get where they want to go. Some are not so confident and looking for direction. Some are downright terrified or lost and need a boost from someone else.

It’s extremely rare that any one of these people is only looking out for Numero Uno, even if Numero Uno is their first priority at the moment. Most people I meet, even when they’re struggling, are ready to jump in and help someone else.

For that reason, I’m confident that even the terrified people are going to figure out a way to succeed, even if it takes longer than they hope. It’s because of their passion for what they’re doing combined with a passion for seeing other people do well. It’s a powerful combination.

Those people are looking for ways to lead their people, sometimes by following other people to see how it can be done.

None of these people are in the way, because they’re too damn busy trying to make something happen.

Haters are trying to stop things from happening. They don’t follow and they certainly don’t lead.

The thing is, everyone has off days. Everyone says things sometimes that they could have phrased more tactfully (myself included). It happens. It’s easier to let fly when you’re behind the safe wall of servers and IP addresses.

But there’s a fundamental difference between someone having an off day and someone who expresses themselves in a way that is purposely hurtful (i.e.; in the way). Do you get that?

Even so, the so-called Haters are deeply scared themselves. They have their own fears and reasons for being afraid. So they’re still people, but they’ve put themselves in the way of you accomplishing your stuff.

So what do you do when a “hater” gets in your way? One of two things:

A. Ignore it. Pretty much everyone else recognizes the “hater comment,” so don’t feel like you even have to acknowledge anything. What’s there to acknowledge, anyway?

B. Respond in the most diplomatic way possible – and turn it over to them for answers. What are they willing to do to help improve things? Are they willing to go farther than mere complaining? You’ll find out soon enough.

Sounds easy-peasy, right? Riiiight.

Even when you understand all of this logically, the raw emotion of somebody hating on you and your thoughts is probably still there. Seek out someone you trust to help you analyze the comment. Vent. Get it off your chest, blow up. Be illogical. Rant.

When that’s done, do your best to move on and be productive. Go back to leading and following and creating something better. It’s hard to imagine when the emotions are raw, but the haters will fall away. They’ll find someone else when they realize they can’t stop you.

Don’t let them stop you.

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