Don’t let them stop you from doing your work.

It’s a moment I’ll never forget. I can replay it in my mind like it was Tivo.

I was working as a Graphic Designer in the Los Angeles office of a national consulting firm. I had been there for about a year and felt that with my knowledge and experience I could easily perform the duties of a Workflow Coordinator, or what you might call an Art Director. My boss disagreed.

In fact, he called me into his office one day and told me, “You will never be a Workflow Coordinator. You just don’t have what it takes. You haven’t shown me that you can be the kind of person who can handle that role. It just isn’t going to happen.”

I went home that day completely crushed. I wasn’t fired, but it sure felt like it. I felt totally humiliated sitting with my family at dinner, even though the kids had no idea what I’d been through. When I finally went to bed, it was with the feeling that I had failed in a way that was completely irreparable.

The next morning, in the shower, lightning struck my brain. Wait. Hold on. Who was this ONE guy to tell me what I can or can’t do? I had never let anyone dictate my limitations before, why am I doing it now?

I was fired up. Angry. Challenged. Determined. Fed up with the status quo. Something in me shifted.

Two years later, I was Director of Operations for the Washington, DC office of the same firm. One day my boss (yep, same dude) came to town. We were talking about how well the office had been doing under my leadership, both in revenue and employee morale. I couldn’t help myself. I asked him if he remembered our conversation in L.A. two years before. He didn’t. Not a word. In fact, he told me that he had been the one to recommend me for the Director role. What could I say? I let it go.

So my first message to you is this. Your words matter. For better or worse, they are heard and they make a difference.

My second message is about the tiny boss who lives inside your head.

The tiny person who lives inside your head

I have a little person inside my head who tries to tell me that I’m full of crap. I’m stupid. Not funny. Doomed to failure. Not helpful. Hungry for cookies before I’ve had lunch. You get the picture.

Every time I open up the Pages file of the guide I’ve been working on, this tiny boss person in my head calls me into his office. This is no good, he says. It’s not nearly good enough to be saved as a file, let alone read by other people. And you can’t start a sentence with “And.” You did that what, like five times? You say “like” too much. You’ll never get this right.

He tries to sell me on my fear. Sometimes I buy it. Other times I remember who I am and what I was trying to do before he showed up.

I’m getting better about walking out of his office and getting back to work. Even with his door closed I can still hear him, but it’s muffled and sounds like he’s asking for a peanut butter asparagus pizza. So it’s cool. But he still tries. His face is pressed up against the glass as I write this post.

I have friends and clients who are working on their ebooks, kits, and works of visual art. Sometimes they get stuck. Not because they’re uncreative people (in fact, their ideas are downright fantastic). I suspect they each have their own tiny boss inside their head. Those bosses are pretty damn good at what they do. They tell you you’re no good. Maybe it’s their way of motivating you, but it sure feels like they’re setting your limitations.

My message to you is this. Challenge that tiny boss. Walk out. Shut the door behind you. Listen to the muffled ramblings of middle management while you get some real work done.

Easy as that, right? No. I wouldn’t say it’s easy at all. But I’m begging you; please don’t forget who you are and what you have to offer. We need it.

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