You know what sucks?
Being an elephant on an ocean voyage. First of all, the cabins are too small. So even though you paid for first class passage, you have to sleep on deck. In full view of everyone, no less. Bored children throw peanuts at you while their oblivious parents sip martinis and watch the sunset.
And that elbow-rubbing dinner at the Captain’s table? You can forget about that.
You complained to the purser, but he just smiles and gives you an extra box of peanuts. Like that will fix everything.
Then, when you think your trip can’t get any worse, an iceberg comes out of nowhere and chops a hole in the starboard side of the ship. BOOM. Glug, glug. Scream. Whistle. Shout.
Splash.
Suddenly you find yourself alone, miles from anywhere, cut off from the bored children and martini parents, drifting in an elephant-sized life raft. In the distance, the luxury ocean liner breaks in half and plunges into blackness.
The stars come out from the clouds. It’s quiet. A box of peanuts floats by.
Now this is an ocean voyage.
I thought I couldn’t love you any more and THEN YOU WRITE THIS.
xoxo to you, mister pants.
Are you sure you aren’t a writer?
And a poet?
And a philosopher?
And,
a good friend.
[...] Attitude is a choice. Excellently illustrated (literally!) by Sparky Firepants. [...]