Friend of yours?

Friend of yours?

I had an early meeting with one of my illustration clients at a local coffee shop. We’ve been working together for months on a few projects and meeting at this one place almost every time. Sometimes the meetings are short and to the point (“let’s change this,” “what if we do this?” “See ya.” See ya.”) and other times, like today, we end up chatting about our businesses, marketing, and personal projects.

Another client of mine works in a corporate environment but we connect on a non-corporate level throughout different projects we’ve worked on together. As projects move through various stages, our communication becomes more informal and jokes are traded easily.

Pondering my fortune to work with such easygoing people, I had a thought. The reason the projects I’ve been working on have been so successful and fun is because I’ve become friends with my clients through the process.

I don’t mean to say that we call each other before bedtime, chat about our love lives, or sign e-mails “BFF.” It’s just a friendly way of working together and getting projects completed without a ton of stress.

It doesn’t happen with every client. Just like when I meet someone new in a non-work situation we don’t always hit it off. The projects still get done, but they’re not as fulfilling as the ones I work on with friends.

The successful people I’ve observed and admired in the past have had this quality of being able to relate to co-workers and clients on an informal, friendly level. I believe that’s part of what made them successful. It’s as simple as this: you want to be around the contractor who seems relaxed, confident, easygoing. The stiff, formal ones make things feel very dire and difficult. See? Not a complex chemical formula there.

I had a boss who, as I moved into management, cautioned me (more of a stern warning) not to become too friendly with my staff. Huh? He wanted to take the rapport I’d built with these people and suddenly be “Manager Guy.” Mistakenly I took his direction and needless to say I wasn’t as effective as I could have been. Later on I gained enough confidence as a leader to go back to being myself, and it worked out fine. No mutinies or chronically disgruntled employees. It is possible to lead without fear.

Are you friends with your clients? How do you interact with potential clients? Do projects go smoothly for you with more on the way? Do you like working with the people who hire you or do you dread their very existence? Are you projects fun, even the difficult ones?

It’s an interesting dynamic to observe. If you can step outside yourself for a little bit and truly see how you come across, you may be surprised. I always am.

Posted by email from Sparky Firepants’s posterous

Sparky Firepants

@NathanBowers: Thanks. Actually it's a fairly simple process of cutting out shapes and coloring them in once they're placed (digitally, of course).

We never had this conversation. Please destroy this comment after reading.
90steve

Well said.
I believe the most successful leaders know how to get people to do things because they want to, not out of fear.

I tried to follow this philosophy as a Naval Officer and connect with my Sailors on a personal level, let them know I cared about them as a person. We were not buddies but mutually respected each other, which helped accomplish our mission.

The same can be acheived just as easily in the corporate world. I'm glad you went back to who you are and what is comfortable for you.
Kathlyn

I think making the closest connection you respectfully can is vital to really good work. It also makes work a hell of a lot more fun. In my last job, there was a handful of people I really connected with - people I knew I would want to stay in touch with after I left the job. These also happened to be the people I respected the most as human beings and as co-conspirators. The closer I got with them, the easier it was to work together, both when things were easy and when things were not so easy. I do think you need to remember that the people you work with are not your "friends" (as you said, you don't call them every day to see how they are doing), but the more you know them (and this is doubly true of a staff you're managing), the easier it is to both motivate them (to do your bidding) and to help them achieve their own professional goals...which in turn, usually motivates them to do your bidding. It's like the mirror double of the vicious cycle!

Thanks for a great post reminding me one of the chief reasons I escap...er, left my last place of employment - not nearly enough genuine connection!

Cheers.
Nathan Bowers

Agree with everything in this post. Being approachable is key, and being yourself is even more key. If you're denying yourself to be "corporate guy" you won't like yourself and others will pick up on that and not like you either.

Also, you should put on false fronts because even if it works, you're attracting people wouldn't like you for you, therefore they're out of alignment.

P.S. I love your "cut from rough recycled construction paper" look. How do you do that? Or is it a trade secret?

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